My 2018 has started off on all the wrong feet. We had a really tiring holiday season and then I fell sick with the flu in the very first days of the year, which I am attributing to the sheer exhaustion - both mental and physical - of 2017. Being bed-ridden for five days puts an awful lot into perspective. Suddenly, worrying about resolutions and getting to the gym and eating right and making career goals all seems like a waste of time. All that really matters to you is health and energy and resuming your place in the outside world, breathing in fresh air, marveling at the blue of the sky, taking in the light.
And that's how I found my mantra for the new year, without even looking for it.
A year of light.
I have a DNA built on heavy. Some of it learned, some of it earned, some of it inherited. A heavy heart, a heavy mind, heavy emotions. And in years like 2017, when there was so much heavy in the world around me too, it was all just too much. Too much thinking. Too much introspection. Too much heavy.
I know the world didn't miraculously straighten itself out on January 1st. The heavy is still there. Some days, it feels like it's everywhere. But the light is too, and I have decided to move forward into the next 12 months looking for it, embracing it and living it wherever and however I can.
A lighter approach to my daily life, which means appreciating the simple things and striving for fun and mindless adventure and a good, raucous laugh as often as possible. A lighter approach to my emotions, which means recognizing them for what they are and letting them pass rather than define my days. A lighter approach to the world around me, searching for ways to spread goodness and humanity and change rather than wallowing in the mountains of negativity that I perched upon in 2018. A lighter approach to my health, which means making smart choices wherever possible, appreciating and forgiving the not-so-smart ones in the moment and in general, looking for more confidence and inspiration and strength from within.
A year of light. Mind, body and soul.
It means more mental health days, more funny movies, more great conversations and more of the people that bring all of that to my world. More "just because" decisions, more inspiration, more big picture thinking. More fun. Definitely more fun.
I don't assume it will be effortless. Sometimes, it feels like it takes more work to just relax and have fun and lose yourself in laughter than it does to worry. But I think the work will be worth it. I think that my health will benefit from it. I know my marriage and kids will. And while the world around me and my DNA aren't in my control, I know that how I take on that weight is up to me. In these first few days of the year and the hundreds that are about to follow them. In every decision and passing thought and daily ritual. It's up to me to look for the light. And more importantly, to live it.
Wishing you a happy new year and a light-filled 2018. x